The Interview

Despite the setting of a grocery store, we have a solid screening process in place to weed out applicants who don't fit the mold of what we're looking for in an employee. Given the number of times we interact with applicants, it makes for some interesting revelations about how people think.

1. Our jobs aren't as easy as you say they are.

How would they even know!? They sit in that chair, with no grocery experience, confidently telling the world, "Oh yeah, I can do the job, no problem."

We spend hours every week talking about customer buying trends, effective merchandising, fiscal projections and sales growth/fluctuations. And that's only half of the over-arching administrative side. Add on the physical labor and daily decision-making that every employee on staff makes, including us managers, and you have yourself a job that is much more complex than you ever imagined.

So when you sit there in the interview, telling two managers (one with almost twenty years experience and myself, graduate degree in hand and recruited into the company) that our jobs aren't that hard, you can ensure yourself one thing at the end of the conversation: Thank you but no thank you.

Our jobs are that hard. You will learn a lot about what it takes to operate a successful store. And we really dislike anyone who thinks running a grocery store is something right above what a trained monkey could do.

2. Fired from your last job? Good luck.

It's not that all applicants that have been fired are bad employees, but there was something there in their past experience that led to their inevitable demise. Whatever that reason or excuse (there is a difference between the two), you're sure to drop in our books when it comes to potential employment.

My favorite experience is a young woman came in to drop off an application. Through a short scan of her info, I saw for 'reason for leaving' her last job: "Will discuss @ interview." She actually used the @ sign on her application.

Obviously, I was curious so I asked about it. She went on to tell me how it was no big deal, but she was "let go" for "talking badly about the boss to another employee." Right... So you want me to hire you so you can trash me to another employee on my staff? That app was going straight to the 'NO' pile.

Advice: If you get fired from a job, leave off the app. If we ask about the gap in work history, make something neutral up. At least we'll credit you for being creative, and hey, we might even hire you. I mean, I won't, but I'm sure there is another manager out there slightly less intuitive that won't see through your giant line of B.S.

3. Professional but casual.

Wear a nice shirt, use big words, and present a balance of confidence and humility. Beyond that, we aren't looking for much more than a solid personality. Leave the gum at home. Swearing is a one way ticket back to your job search. Authenticity is more important than having the right answers.

Most importantly, we're not as dumb as you think we are. We can see through your answers. We're analyzing everything. From your verbiage to your tone to your body language to your ring-less hand to your clothing choice. Everything you do and don't do, say and don't say, is being considered.

Not so menial for a grocery store after all, huh?

And with that, I'm off to work.

Sincerely,
Your Neighborhood Grocery Store Manager