The Interview

Despite the setting of a grocery store, we have a solid screening process in place to weed out applicants who don't fit the mold of what we're looking for in an employee. Given the number of times we interact with applicants, it makes for some interesting revelations about how people think.

1. Our jobs aren't as easy as you say they are.

How would they even know!? They sit in that chair, with no grocery experience, confidently telling the world, "Oh yeah, I can do the job, no problem."

We spend hours every week talking about customer buying trends, effective merchandising, fiscal projections and sales growth/fluctuations. And that's only half of the over-arching administrative side. Add on the physical labor and daily decision-making that every employee on staff makes, including us managers, and you have yourself a job that is much more complex than you ever imagined.

So when you sit there in the interview, telling two managers (one with almost twenty years experience and myself, graduate degree in hand and recruited into the company) that our jobs aren't that hard, you can ensure yourself one thing at the end of the conversation: Thank you but no thank you.

Our jobs are that hard. You will learn a lot about what it takes to operate a successful store. And we really dislike anyone who thinks running a grocery store is something right above what a trained monkey could do.

2. Fired from your last job? Good luck.

It's not that all applicants that have been fired are bad employees, but there was something there in their past experience that led to their inevitable demise. Whatever that reason or excuse (there is a difference between the two), you're sure to drop in our books when it comes to potential employment.

My favorite experience is a young woman came in to drop off an application. Through a short scan of her info, I saw for 'reason for leaving' her last job: "Will discuss @ interview." She actually used the @ sign on her application.

Obviously, I was curious so I asked about it. She went on to tell me how it was no big deal, but she was "let go" for "talking badly about the boss to another employee." Right... So you want me to hire you so you can trash me to another employee on my staff? That app was going straight to the 'NO' pile.

Advice: If you get fired from a job, leave off the app. If we ask about the gap in work history, make something neutral up. At least we'll credit you for being creative, and hey, we might even hire you. I mean, I won't, but I'm sure there is another manager out there slightly less intuitive that won't see through your giant line of B.S.

3. Professional but casual.

Wear a nice shirt, use big words, and present a balance of confidence and humility. Beyond that, we aren't looking for much more than a solid personality. Leave the gum at home. Swearing is a one way ticket back to your job search. Authenticity is more important than having the right answers.

Most importantly, we're not as dumb as you think we are. We can see through your answers. We're analyzing everything. From your verbiage to your tone to your body language to your ring-less hand to your clothing choice. Everything you do and don't do, say and don't say, is being considered.

Not so menial for a grocery store after all, huh?

And with that, I'm off to work.

Sincerely,
Your Neighborhood Grocery Store Manager

The Phenomenon

Today's topic is something that every grocery professional (yes, we are professionals, but that is a topic for a future post) knows about. It's something we've yet to find a clear explanation for and we are sure that the customers may in fact be in cahoots with one another.

I call it The Phenomenon.

There could be a single customer in your store and yet, despite all the products they could camp in front of it, it is the one thing you're trying to stock.

This is infuriating because it happens every damn day. We're tired of it.

Yesterday  I was trying to stock a few cases of nuts/trail mix and a family of four decided to camp out in front of that very few feet of shelving I needed to stock. They inspected every variety as if they were going to find one that had a golden ticket inside.

"They all have 5,000 calories in them, regardless of what you buy, you're going to eat it and gain a pound."

Being a good manager, I didn't say that. I asked them if I could help them find anything, chatted them up to expedite their decision process and nothing worked. There they sat, like they were waiting in line for the last Harry Potter film to open its doors.

I wanted to walk up to them and say politely, "I know you don't have to be anywhere in the next ten hours, but I should have had these three cases done twenty minutes ago. So could you please get the hell out of my way."

The action that really breaks our balls is when you subsequently leave your cart exactly where we need to be and go play in a completely different section of the store. You're like the kid who leaves his bike in the middle of the street. I'm always tempted to take your cart and start putting everything back on the shelves.

So the next time you're meandering through a grocery store, have some respect for the other human being who is working along side of you. To reference a previous post, it's Customer Service, not Servitude. I respect you, you respect me. And you can respect me by grabbing what you need and taking a few steps down the aisle so I can get back to work.

And the family of four? They didn't buy a single bag! They wasted twenty minutes of my time by buying NOTHING! ... Well played, Phenomenon.

And with that, I'm off to work.

Sincerely,
Your Neighborhood Grocery Store Manager

The Over Share

Now, before I begin, I have to preface this post with a simple fact. Customer Service is our business. It's what we're known for. It's what brings people back time and time again to buy our products. I love talking to customers, sharing tid-bits of common interests, product history or information, etc. This is something we all enjoy as a manager.

However, it's important that you understand that we are not trained life coaches. We like our customer interactions like we like all other stranger interactions that occur in the rest of the world: shallow.

You don't know me. I don't know you. Yes, we see each other once a week, maybe even twice. I know your name, and because of my name tag, you know mine. We are aware of a few interesting facts about one another. Occupation (again, mine is obvious), a few key interests, even the movie you saw in the theater last weekend.

I draw the line at conversations that make me uncomfortable.

Last week, a woman who is a regular customer and whom I've had short, pleasant talks with while moving through the store, broached a subject I had no desire in discussing. She had a miscarriage a few weeks back and on top of that her ex-husband appeared to be doing everything he could to minimize her time spent with her children.

All very serious and worthwhile conversations to be had with a close friend, a confidant, or a therapist. I am none of these things. If you're offering to pay me a couple hundred dollars an hour to listen to your problems then please, continue. However, my job is to run this grocery store and to serve you as a customer. My service stops and the awkwardness begins when you bring up your faulty uterus.

Maybe it's our environment, or the image of our company that really disarms you as a customer, but it's important that you remember to remain shallow. It's like when your in-laws visit for a week. On the third morning, your father-in-law, looking for coffee, walks into the kitchen in his underwear.

Conclusion: you have grown too comfortable.

At the end of the day, and after all the conversations you've had with us, there are two things that we want that you can be confident in knowing: keep your pants on and there is a reason there are no couches in our store.

So get off yours, buy your produce and have a nice day.

And with that, I'm off to work.

Sincerely,
Your Neighborhood Grocery Store Manager

Maiden Voyage

How do you begin a blog about a grocery store? It's not like I work for some huge, global retailer like Walmart. Yeah, the company I work for is big, even national. But they are small in stature and people are still only discovering us for the first time on a daily basis. That's enough information about my employer for now. Wouldn't want to upset the apple cart after all.

The harder decision is figuring out what I want to talk about first. So much happens to me on a daily basis; my work, my employees, my customers, I can't imagine sharing all those interactions with you at once. Of all the things that rub us managers the wrong way more than anything is rude customers.

You are in my way.

I've worked in the South, the Midwest, and on the East Coast, and one thing is more consistent than any other. People are rude. Southern hospitality. Midwest Manners. None of that stuff actually exists once you step foot inside a grocery store.

As a customer, you never say it, but you think it about once every thirty seconds. Whether it's another customer or myself, an employee who is trying to put up another case of cookies for your chubby fingers to wrap around, we are simply objects in which you must navigate in order to fill up your cart.

I don't know if you noticed, but there is a human being under this shirt. And believe it or not, I'd actually like to get to know my customers. We're happen to have a conversation with you from time to time. It's called customer service, not customer servitude.

No phone call is that important.

One thing my mother always taught me was to be polite and courteous. Even when I was five as I stood in line at the local market and pointed at the obese woman in front of me and yelled, "Mom! Look how fat that woman is! How did she get so fat!?" ... That actually happened.

Still, my mother eventually succeeded in instilling a sense of consideration for others. However, I feel as if some parents, and individuals themselves, failed at cultivating/maintaining this. Example: no customer waits longer than a few minutes in line at our stores, that's just the way it is. And it's our job to chat you up while we ring you up. We can't do that if your talking to your girlfriend on the phone about the new pair of "oh my gah legit shoes" you got at DSW.

An 'out of stock' product is not worth getting upset about.

Just as it has become clear our politicians have lost touch with reality, this is also present on a daily basis with our customers. There are millions of Americans who can't afford a decent meal on a daily basis.

However, when I tell you your favorite potato chip or weird cookie is out of stock right now, the most valid response you can give me is an "aww schucks, maybe next time." Getting visibly upset over it is a clear indication that you haven't been told no very often and maybe in fact need to re-evaluate your overall perspective.

Motorized carts are for the handicapped, not the fatty-capped.

We welcome customers of all shapes, sizes, and all eccentricities. We actually welcome the weird ones with open arms. What we don't appreciate is someone who is able-bodied using our motorized carts to promote their laziness (most definitely what caused their obesity in the first place) while there are others who actually need the cart to do their shopping.

Walking will do you some good. And don't worry, given what you're buying anyway, those calories you're about to burn will be doubly replaced before you pull your shock-broken car out of the parking lot. Having cankles isn't a handicap.

And with that, I'm off to work.

Sincerely,
Your Neighborhood Grocery Store Manager